How I Feel and it's Importance
I’ve been an emotional wreck
It’s hard to tell where exactly one goes when the emotional state of mind collapses into disrepair, or at least the strong feeling of such. When I feel the onset of panic or an anxiety attack it’s often hard to get ahead of it. The result is inevitable crash and burn going from a state of manic to manic-depressive. Thankfully there is help and I find great comfort in serenity, or at least the pursuit thereof.
Why I feel lost sometimes
It’s hard to say the exact nature of loneliness because it’s different from person to person. You also have to consider the source of loneliness. In my case I believe I feel lonely because I grew up mostly alone, or deeply feeling so. I’ve traced this back to my childhood and abandonment issues. Even though I was always with my mother and siblings, our wrecked lifestyle growing up was traumatic to say the least. Having no supportive environment as a child effectively demanded disassociation as a coping mechanism. This kind of emotional withdrawal is a subconscious defense, or it seems to be so.
How I respond to the lonenliness
The worst part of feeling loneliness is the cause and effect. What causes the feeling is isolation, whether decidedly or having little other option than to be alone. Too much time without intimate interaction and the presence of another human will drive you crazy. How much more does this affect interpersonal relationships with friends and family. How much does it impact a romantic relationship?
Circumventing the negative out-come
When the loneliness begins to set in and all the red-flags are thrown, it’s only by decisive mental action that I can address the emotion. It isn’t easy and even as I write I think to myself it’s total BS, but there’s always one absolute and that is to always try again if failed. I try to remind myself it is only me. I make me feel the way I do and act in response accordingly. Only me. I make me mad or sad and in the same respect I make me happy.
… gaining or losing a romantic partner, getting or not getting a promotion, passing or not passing a college test, on and on, have far less impact, less intensity and much less duration than people expect them to have.
… a recent study showing how major life traumas affect people suggests that if it happened over three months ago, with only a few exceptions, it has no impact whatsoever on your happiness.
Why? Because happiness can be synthesized
… We synthesize happiness, but we think happiness is a thing to be found.
… Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted, and synthetic happiness is what we make when we don’t get what we wanted. And in our society, we have a strong belief that synthetic happiness is of an inferior kind.
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It’s still all fuzzy in my head
Too true is the reality that no great amount of study or research and practical intellect for dealing with un-happiness and loneliness at it’s root can be of any great benefit unless applied as a kind of salve. Then there’s the fly in the ointment. Try as I may, it always seems to just out of reach and consequently I find it near impossible some days to cope. When these days are present there is one certain output that does help the recovery process along nicely – good old fashioned tears…
Sad Boy Plays Piano by George Hodan
This post was last modified on March 29, 2015 - learn more.
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