10 years ago

Holding the Keys

Holding the Keys

A few words that I have found useful:

Into Action; 83.3
There may be some wrongs we can never fully right.  We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could.

Into Action; 85.1
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best server Thee – Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.

More About Alcoholism; 37.2
We have sometimes reflected more than another upon the consequences (of drinking). But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened.

How It Works; 59.2

  • We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
  • Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  • Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.
  • Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

I have been attending meetings, in addition to several other support mechanisms that I hope and pray will keep me accountable. It’s hard to believe and accept that I failed so many people in my life with my habits and actions. It’s hard to sleep sometimes without drinking because of regret and un-resolved remorse.
My rather brilliant mind can be put to such a greater use. I’ve come to terms with my problem and I am facing it one day at a time from moment to moment. I believe God will restore my spirit so long as I give up my will and self centered nature. Of course this is up to Him, so long as I practice the humility and take responsibility for mine.
I don’t fully understand why I am going through this, outside what I’ve written above. It’s a “why me” thing.
In conclusion, we all hold the keys. Regardless the circumstances and all we have to loose in life, nothing is enough to keep an alcoholic sober. Nothing except the desire to quit and restore oneself. I accept this and my choice isn’t to stop drinking (as this implies a certain mindset I disagree with), but rather, I choose to be sober. Negative connotation replaced with positive reinforcement.
Holding The Keys by Talia Felix

This post was last modified on June 1, 2013 - learn more.

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